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Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Suicide is not the answer

As the title of the post says/reads, suicide is truly never the answer. There is nothing in this world that cannot be fixed or healed providing you are prepared to fix or heal that which needs fixing or healing.


Even if you are suffering from depression or you have a Bipolar disorder, suicide is not an easy way out. Killing yourself solves nothing. When you are really low or when you feel like your problems are so humongous that the only way out is death, think again, think about your loved ones, think about what you would be putting them through. This should bring you back to reality.


Even if you feel nothing for yourself anymore (at that moment in time), think about everyone out there that loves you and that you love back. Would you want to see your parents suffering? Of course you wouldn't and if you kill yourself you would be subjecting them (as well as your other loved ones) to the worst suffering imaginable. This knowledge alone should be enough reason to seek help for whatever it is that you are going through.

When you are overwhelmed by your problems and/or you are terribly down/depressed, tell yourself that this feeling is just temporary. Nothing can last forever, including stress, fear, depressed moods or whatever it is that you are going through at that specific moment in time.

Seek help and don't suffer in silence. Depression, bipolar disorder, fear, panic etc. is nothing to be ashamed of. More and more people suffer from depression each year and suicide rates are increasing at an alarmingly steady pace (according to statistics). Ask yourself truly, do you want to be part of that statistic? Remind yourself of the happy times, of how good you felt whilst doing something you truly enjoyed. Pull yourself out from that dark place you are creeping into, and if you find that this is too difficult for you, reach out to someone, anyone, before it is too late.



I know at least 50 people who have either tried to commit  suicide or thought about it at some point in their lives. All of them say the same thing now though, and that is that they cannot believe how close they came to making a huge, permanent and devastating mistake. All of them have found happiness and are in a happy place in their psyche today.

One particular case/person was a teacher I had in college (whose permission I have to retell her story with the intent to help others). She was a victim of rape when she was a teenage girl. Instead of confiding in her parents and/or her closest friends, she kept the secret to herself in fear of what others might think of her. She held it in for years until it consumed her entire being. She couldn't eat or sleep and she began to feel that life would never be the same again and that she would never be able to live with the memory of what happened to her. Suicide became her only choice. Her only way to have peace. Her only way out.


She planned her self-destruction/demise very carefully. For months she started stealing and hiding a few of her mothers sleeping pills in a sock in her cupboard. Finally, when she felt she had enough she waited patiently for an evening that her parents would be out for at least a few hours. When the evening came she made sure that she told everyone (her parents and friends) that she would be going to bed early, as she had an upset stomach and wasn't feeling too well. She requested no one to call her awake on the phone.

Her parents left. She placed the letters of farewell she wrote to/for everyone dear to her on the dining room table, went into the bathroom, poured a bath, drank all the sleeping pills and then climbed into the tub. She waited patiently. For quite a while she felt nothing.

Then all of a sudden it started to happen. She started to feel her brain and functioning slowing down. It was the weirdest and scariest feeling she ever felt. "Why am I not just falling asleep like I see on the t.v?", she thought. She began to panic, but she couldn't do anything, she couldn't move. It was horrendous and nothing like she expected it to be. She asked herself, "what the hell am I doing?" She realised that she wanted to live and that her ordeal seemed so meagre now in relation to the fear she was currently experiencing. She knew she was dying but she couldn't scream... She blacked out....

Then, she could see a sharp light. She heard voices around her. She managed to open her eyes. She could barely make out the face of a man. After a while she recognised his voice. It was her doctor. She could hear him telling her mother (whose crying voice was echoing in the room), that all they could do now is wait to see if she lived or died since they did all they could on their side (by pumping her stomach out etc.). She felt the overwhelming fear of dying return, just before she blacked out again........

Needless to say she made it out alive (or else she wouldn't have been able to tell us this story as her students). She got lucky. Her mother broke the strap on her shoe and went home to change her footwear. That is the only reason she (my teacher) was still alive today. Her mom found her just in time and even then her chance of survival was around 50/50.

She had a major wake up call during her suicide attempt and got the help she needed as soon as she had recovered enough

She learnt to live with what happened to her and realised that it was in the past and that it could only effect her future if she kept dwelling on it. It wasn't the end of the world. She had a second chance at life. Her attempt at suicide taught her just how valuable life is and how much she really wanted to live. She started to enjoy her life, went to university, got her degree, fell in love, got married and had three beautiful daughters. The mere thought of what she attempted to do to herself seems so unreal to her now.



If you are someone who is contemplating suicide please let all I have said above sink in. Your life is precious even if you don't feel that way right now. Please get the help you need, or even just reach out to someone.

 I know that in this age of technology people are very out of touch with each other (which in my opinion is also to blame for many suicides since so many feel alone). but there is always someone who will listen, whether it be one of your parents, or siblings, your minister/priest, varsity counsellor or even just a friend.



Here is a list of online suicide prevention chats (help-line chats) that you can access via a VPN if you feel you would prefer to remain completely anonymous, and other suicide resources such as international suicide hotline telephone numbers:


Suicide Prevention Chats (Worldwide)

International Association For Suicide Prevention

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Unsuicide

International Suicide Hotlines List

I want to close in saying that life is precious and that each and every single one of us are amazing and special.

With that said, remember these words: Whatever is upsetting you won't last forever (unless you force it), but suicide is final.


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2 comments:

  1. ???? Nada means nothing, but I am afraid "cho" has no meaning, therefore I don't understand your comment?

    ReplyDelete

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